I dropped my croissant on the floor and I cried.

I dropped my croissant on the floor and I cried.

3/29/20

I woke up this morning before my family.

The quiet solitude of the house was refreshing...

I made my breakfast:

Two scrambled eggs with some shredded cheese on a toasted croissant.

It was the last croissant in a package of four; we don’t buy croissants too often.

They feel like an exotic luxury food.

I put my scrambled eggs on the toasted decadent croissant 

and added a small clementine on the side.

I had my steaming hot cup of green tea in my favorite mug.  

As I walked to the table with croissant breakfast sandwich in one hand

And cup of tea in my other hand,  I lost my balance--

I dropped my croissant on the floor and I cried.

I cried with my whole heart looking down at the egg, croissant, clementine, and

spilled tea on the floor. 

I cried for our Mother Earth who is so sick and has been sick for a very long time.  

I cried for the thousands of people who are sick.

I cried for the people who died.

I cried for the people who are going to get sick.

I took a breath in between hot tears streaming down my cheeks

and gasps for breath--

And then I heard the birds chirping outside as the rain gently fell on the early spring grass.

I then cried harder--messier.

I cried for the loved ones of people who are sick and can’t touch their loved ones because

they are in nursing homes and hospitals and live far away.

I cried for the medical professionals who are risking their lives each day.

I cried for the grocery store employees who are now first responders.

Then I paused again to breathe…

And heard my daughter singing and dancing to a tic tok video.

And my son playing an online video game with his friends’ voices coming out of the speakers.

I continued crying--

I cried for my students who are living in homes where their families don’t like each other.

I cried for my students who are working in grocery stores.

I cried for all the people who have lost their jobs and will lose their jobs.

I cried for my fellow teachers who want to teach our students back in the classroom.

I cried for all the parents who are doing their best.

And then my kind, gracious husband who had woken up and come into the kitchen to find me crying,

put his arm around me,

and reminded me:

We can remake breakfast--

Together.