Introduction:
The following blog post was co-authored by Jim Scott and Kathy Stoker. Jim is a speaker who shares about his experiences with sustaining a traumatic brain injury in 2006. Kathy is an English/Journalism teacher at Westborough High School in Westborough, MA. Jim and Kathy’s paths first crossed when Jim was a junior at Timberlane Regional High School in Plaistow, NH in 1999 and Kathy was his American Studies teacher.
Fast Forward to 2006: After learning of Jim’s accident, Kathy and Jim reconnected. In 2013, Jim started speaking to some of Kathy’s classes where she now taught in Westborough High School in Westborough, MA. Now in 2021, Jim and Kathy decided to share their reflections on their journey from starting out as student and teacher to becoming colleagues and friends.
First impressions: 1999
Kathy: I first met Jimmy Scott during my fourth year of teaching. It was the fall of 1999; I was co teaching with veteran teacher John Dube an American Studies course for juniors. I can still remember Jimmy walking into class with his friends. He walked with confidence and arguably cockiness. He was clearly a leader of the pack as his friends were laughing at some joke Jimmy had told. Jimmy reminded me of the actors Joe Pesci and Danny DiVito--obviously only younger and cuter.
Our classroom was oddly shaped as it had to hold 40 desks. Although the ideal co-teaching model is 20 students with two teachers, due to budget restraints, John and I had 40 students in a double block period. Jim and his friends sat to my right side as I was teaching in the front of the classroom. They were fun and personable kids, mostly respectful, and didn’t give me too much behavioral trouble--for which I was grateful as I was still a rookie teacher. I remember reading some of Jimmy’s writing and thinking, this student is really smart. He went beyond the literary summary and basic analysis and really grasped the material at a sophisticated, mature level.
Early on in the school year, our class was reading The Great Gatsby. I vividly remember Jimmy challenging me on one particular point I was making. I don’t mind when students challenge me, I actually encourage them to. However, Jimmy was doing it with a tone that wasn’t so much about challenging my point as he was challenging me in a teacher/student power struggle. Now those who know me, know I’m far from the authoritarian teacher type; however, I also learned early on in my career, I sometimes have to teach boundaries of respect. And here was one of those times. After a minute of back and forth sarcastic comments and comments under his breath, I told Jimmy to leave the class. All 39 students went silent. Miss Eldredge was kicking out Jimmy Scott? There weren’t a lot of teachers who had ever kicked Jimmy out of class--as mentioned before--Jimmy was smart, he was a 3 sport top athlete, his older sister was valedictorian, his parents were well-known in the community. Jimmy got up and left.
Inside I was shaking, why was he giving me trouble? Why was he challenging me? Would I get in trouble for kicking him out? Another part of me said, Good job, you had to show him it was not okay to be disrespectful. I went on teaching. Later in the day, various students and friends of Jimmy stopped by my classroom. A lot of the kids thought it was great because they said Jimmy was being an asshole to me. I stayed professional and replied, “We make mistakes, we aren’t mistakes. And I will continue to treat Jimmy with respect.”
I think it was later that day, Jimmy came to see me. He apologized for acting the way he did to me. I believe he even said, “I’m sorry I was an asshole to you.” We sat down and talked for a while. I really got a sense that under Jimmy’s smart and smart-ass exterior that he was really like every other teenager: insecure, lacking self confidence, and wanted to be seen. From that day on, Jimmy never gave me another issue. If he was talking out of turn or making a comment uncalled for, I actually just had to look at him or say “Jim” and he would stop. And the fact there was a deeper level of respect between us also gave me further credibility with his friends. That year ended up being really fun--my colleagues and I would go to Jim and his friends’ games and activities to support them and in turn we taught them a thing or two about our subject matter and life.
Looking back a couple of decades later, I wonder if I needed to say or do more regarding Jimmy and his friends’ social lives. I knew they liked to party. They alluded to some “rough” nights they had had. I would often say, “Please be safe.” But that was the extent.
Jim: The 1999 school year was certainly not one with a strong academic focus for me. It was probably in the fourth grade when I decided scholastic achievement wasn’t going be my forte, with my effort declining. By my junior year of high school, 1999, the goal was to just to meet the minimum attendance requirement for participating in athletics. To make things worse, I was enrolled in a joint History/English course called American Studies which was a block period of two consecutive classes. Just the thought of more than an hour and a half in the same desk and classroom was unimaginable as the usual 50 minute blocks were seemingly intolerable.
I was relieved that one of the American Studies’ two co-teachers (Kathy) was early in her career, and appeared to have a good rapport with many students. I can’t exactly remember which period the class was, but I do recall that it was early in the day, at least for me, and getting to class on time wasn’t always a sure thing. I slept a lot in class throughout high school, frequently receiving admonishments from my teachers for using my folded arms on my desk as a pillow. I had few buddies in class and had settled into the year joking around and “resting my eyes” rather quickly.
Having lunch in 2002 w/Jim and his mom
Jim: I had lunch with Kathy and my mom in Framingham after I had successfully completed a postgraduate year of prep school in Connecticut. It was nice to catch up about things and to hear that she was doing well. I remember being relatively enthused about beginning college at Boston University the upcoming year.
Kathy: I moved back to Massachusetts after that year to teach in my home state. I stayed in touch with some of Jimmy and his friends via email and later on social media. I vaguely remember even having lunch with Jimmy and his mom one weekend afternoon while Jimmy was going to attend Boston University.
July 4, 2006
Jim: On July 4, 2006, I drove drunk and sustained a severe Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) when I drove off the road into the woods. I don’t remember anything from the middle of June before the crash until August 10, about six weeks after. My long term memory, other than that lost period is intact. I mostly struggle with emotion regulation and executive functioning including working/short term memory. While I was completely paralyzed on the left side of my body right after the crash, I’ve been blessed in recovery to develop pretty functionable movement with my left side despite limited range of motion. My cognitive functioning allows for work and social engagement today. I don’t recall the way it came about, but I remember going down to speak to some of Kathy’s students a few years back.
Kathy: It was either the end of 2006 or the beginning of 2007 when I was reconnecting with my former student Shane Nelson. He wanted to know if I had heard what happened to Jim Scott. I hadn’t. Shane shared Jim had been a life-threatening car accident. Jim had been drunk and had nearly died. No one else was involved in the accident thankfully. Shane said that Jim had sustained traumatic brain injury and no one knew if he would ever be the same. I can remember catching my breath and feeling my heart break. Not Jim. Jim was so smart, such a fun and funny young person--such a good person.
Regretfully, I don’t think I reached out to Jim and his family at this time.
Kathy: In 2013, sometime after Jim’s book More than a Speed Bump was published, Jimmy and I reconnected. We had lunch in Portsmouth where he was living. It’s hard to put into words how good it was to see him--alive, walking, smiling, laughing, making jokes, and sharing about the intense experiences he had been facing for over six years. It is both a miracle and a testament to Jim, his family, friends, and medical staff who all had the courage and strength to persevere through his recovery.
Back in the Classroom:
Jim: I had begun speaking with the public, primarily students and the Seacoast NH community, with the Krempels Center’s Community Education initiative to spread awareness about brain injury. I published my memoir (More Than a Speed Bump) in 2012 in the hopes of spreading a cautionary message and to convey my gratitude to all the amazing people who’ve been in my life. Speaking with students about my experience is incredibly rewarding. It’s a true blessing in my life today whenever I can share my experience with others, but particularly teenagers.
Kathy: On November 21, 2013, Jim visited three of my high school classes to share his story. Jimmy has always been an amazing storyteller; and to hear him share his story with my current students was incredibly powerful, moving, heartbreaking, and heartwarming. Jim doesn’t lecture students, he shares his life experiences and reflections. He shares what he has learned from his recovery programs, the Krempals Center, family, and friends. Jim is honest and strikes a balance of humor, seriousness, and compassion. My students were captivated and had a lot of questions.
So on and off for the past 8 years, Jim has spoken with my students. The following quotes are feedback from my students who were really moved by Jimmy’s presentations:
“One of my takeaways from Jim Scott's presentation is that ‘you can never remove something unless you replace it with something’, which I fully agree with. I connected this to that if a person wants to reach a goal or wants to achieve something in life, he really has to work hard, be open to change, and commit to whatever will eventually lead him to getting what he wants. Jim Scott mentions that he had to often go to rehab and commit to it in order to overcome his addiction. Another significant point that really got me is that ‘life can be hard for everyone.’ We all face challenges in our lives, and what matters the most is how we overcome those challenges and what we learn from those experiences. As well as, not giving up and giving your best efforts are ways towards getting what you want in life. Another takeaway from Jim Scott's presentation is that we need to ‘build a life that you wouldn't want to give up.’ This really got me because I also believe that we all should make decisions and choices in our lives that will eventually lead to the life that we want to live. Making your own choices after thorough thought is key to not having any regrets later on in life. To this end, I sincerely appreciate Jim Scott speaking about his addiction and his recovery experience.”
“One take away that was really helpful for me was to hear his self-care routine. I remember from the talk he said it was therapy, religion, and his gratitude journal. I found this really helpful to know that other people use religion as well as a mental health tool. While I have many friends who have self-care routines, a lot of the time religion isn't a part of that (which of course I 100% respect ) but it is really nice to have someone to relate to in that sense.”
“I also found it really helpful when he mentioned you can never remove something without replacement. Growing up my mom struggled with addiction and recently she is 6 months sober; she now fills her time with exercise, yoga, cleaning, etc... I never really understood why she picked up all of those things but now it makes a lot of sense.”
Final thoughts/reflections
Jim: If you had told me back when I had Kathy for teacher that in almost 20 years I would be visiting with her classes and sharing my experience; I would have said you were crazy. I may have believed you if the statement was just that my actions were being used as a cautionary tale to young adults, but I hope that when Kathy invites me to speak with her classes they receive much more. I can’t even begin to convey how grateful I am that Kathy has given me this opportunity. Selfishly, it’s incredibly rewarding to relay my experience with even the possibility that hearing about my crash, injury, and recovery will possibly help one student. I’ve been blessed in a lot ways, not just in my recovery, but throughout my life with phenomenal people who I’ve met. Kathy is certainly one of these individuals. I knew she was a special teacher who had an immensely positive impact on me when I had Kathy as a teacher in High School; I hope that I can play a small part in a similar effect that I’m sure Kathy makes on her current students.
Kathy: This past year was one of my most challenging years of teaching--during a pandemic. I am especially grateful for Jim who zoomed with my classes first and second semester. His story was one again both an inspiration an eye-opening experience of driving under the influence--even when unintended.
I do believe the quote: “People come into our lives for a reason, season, or lifetime.” If you had asked me in 1999, I would have said Jim came into my life as a student for a season and a reason. However, I now know it’s for a lifetime. My students and I have learned so many life lessons from Jim. As a teacher, I know that often my students become my greatest teachers both in the classroom and years later. They remind me both of the goodness of humanity and the heartbreaks of being human. Jim does this for us every time we speak.
As you have read, over the years Jim and I have evolved from student/teacher to colleagues and friends. We are both storytellers, writers, in recovery, students of Life, and educators. We decided that we wanted to share our experiences as a way for others to hopefully feel empowered to be honest, share their truths, push their comfort zones, and know we are all on this journey together.
More Student Feedback:
“I really liked listening to Jim's presentation because it made it more real. We hear a lot about stories or general aspects of mental health and addiction, but actually hearing it from a person who has experienced it first hand gives a greater impact. I liked how he mentioned that during his recovery process, he didn't always feel determined or happy all the time to get better. I think that it is important to note because anything is not always going to be great all the time. Although, I like how although he had some days during recovery he didn't feel like it, he mentioned how ways he could feel that determination to get better. I also liked his advice on to be yourself because the right group of people will find you. So many people pretend to be someone they aren't to try to fit in with a certain crowd, but he made a good point that eventually your "true colors" will show and you can't pretend forever. I appreciate him telling his story and giving advice to others because it shows he cares and wants to educate younger students.”
“I really enjoyed Jim Scott's presentation. I feel like a lot of the time as students we hear the standard "don't do drugs" speech, but it's really refreshing to hear it from someone relatable. The way Jim talked about his experience was engaging, and it had a big impact on me and I'm sure many others. What really stuck with me was when Jim said, "you can never remove something without replacing it with something else." I definitely related this this message, and hearing it from someone who went through very traumatic experiences made me think more about some of the decisions I make. Some of the anecdotes that Jim used during his presentation were very funny, and it made me feel connected to Jim and his story. As a senior, having someone talk about their experiences in high school/college was insightful. It gave me a lot to think about as I transition into a new environment. Overall, having Jim Scott speak during out class was great, and I'm sure that it will have a positive impact on our class.”
“I've heard Jim's story before in one of our journalism classes but I always love hearing his story and how much recovery and improvement he's made over the past 15 years. He is a true inspiration and has a great attitude about his situation as well. I think he is a good example of what an average teenager is like and can have the feeling of being invincible and thinking nothing is going to happen but truly the disease of addiction and having certain substances in your environment can have a huge impact on your life. I think him sharing how he continues to keep himself motivated after all these years by his gratitude journal or even reading inspiring books/quotes show that even the little things in life can keep you going. As he explained, life is unexpected. You never know how the rest of your years are going to be so just be cautious and take care of yourself in a non-harmful way.”
